


armed with nothing but their humanity

by thelocalmaniac



Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novel)
Genre: Adrian gets spoiled rotten by his lovers, Adrian works late, Because they deserve the world, CW for racism and transphobia in chapter 5, Canon Compliant, Domestic life with the vampire bbys, Genderqueer Character, Jax also gets spoiled rotten by his lovers, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Multi, Named MC, Nightmares, OT3, Other, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Smut, They/Them/Theirs Pronouns, Threesome - M/M/Other, Working out feelings, just general fluff for the vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelocalmaniac/pseuds/thelocalmaniac
Summary: Adrian and Jax and Sawyer get in some good cuddles, smooches, and lovin' after a long day at work.And more?AKA wholesome Adrian/Jax/MC content because I cannot believe that they had a threesome in canon and nobody caught feelings like HONESTLY
Relationships: Adrian Raines/Jax Matsuo/Main Character, Adrian Raines/Main Character (Bloodbound), Jax Matsuo/Adrian Raines, Jax Matsuo/Main Character (Bloodbound)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. Stars. He sees stars.

**Author's Note:**

> None of the characters in the Play Choices Bloodbound Trilogy belong to me.  
> My interpretation of MC, Sawyer, belongs to me.
> 
> This will be part of a small series. Likely a twoshot or threeshot unless this story entirely gets away from me.
> 
> EDIT: It got away from me.

They were woken by a kiss to the back of their neck. 

Sawyer shifted and stretched, burrowing their face into their pillow and breathing in, waiting for themselves to feel more awake. One beat. Two. Three. “Hey, love,” Adrian whispered, smoothing a hand over their head as they blindly reached out to wrap their arms around them. “How did you sleep?” 

“Not bad, considering Jax didn’t want to go to bed.” 

“We were having _fun_ ,” Jax muttered, pressing a kiss to the top of Sawyer’s spinal column. “We were waiting for you, but you didn’t come. What gives? Also, Sawyer, we don’t even need sleep.” 

“Even vampires need rest sometimes. Don’t fight it.” Their comment made both vampires laugh, and Sawyer opened their eyes sleepily to admire the newcomer. Adrian was laying on the bed in one of his business suits, his grin bright against his dark skin. On the other side of Sawyer laid Jax, who was playing the role of “big spoon”, a role he took very seriously. His hands are constantly on them--through their hair, ghosting across their sides, tracing patterns along their back. It's like he can’t bring himself to part from them. One of Jax's brown eyes watched the two of them interacting with unconcealed amusement, waiting for the shoe to drop. 

Sawyer rearranged themselves under their comforter and leaned back into Jax, lulled into a sense of comfort with the drowsy heat of the blankets. Nobody could make them move right now. They deserved a lazy day once in a while! 

With a small sigh, Sawyer tugged on Adrian’s collar. “Why are you still wearing all of this? You should shed a few layers, A. Can’t be comfortable. We’re in our pjs, and you should be too!” 

Adrian chuckled. “Actually, Jax is naked.” He looked over the male appreciatively. Jax preened.

“Oh.” Sawyer considered this, then laughed. “That’s very on brand for him. But c’mon. We’re not getting out, so _you_ need to come _in_.” They helped to peel Adrian out of his suit, peppering each exposed bit of skin with kisses, until the CEO was only in his boxers. Smiling, Sawyer pulled the comforter over him before nestling into his chest. Jax reached over to skim his fingers over Adrian’s arm affectionately, continuing the motion when Adrian shifted into him. Sometimes Adrian acted like he had never been touched by a human hand in his entire life, and usually Sawyer and Jax didn’t comment on it. He was allowed his secrets. If Adrian was touch-starved, who were they to judge him? It was much easier to offer him the contact he so desperately desired.

Things had changed between them since that day in Serafine’s nightclub. Sawyer had been feeling saucy [horny] and their two favorite people in the entire world were in the same room, ready and willing and _beautiful_. The fact that they had apparently been feeling similarly toward each _other_ had been a perk. Since making love that day, before the Order had infiltrated the club, every moment between the three of them had been charged, electric, and the night before taking on Gaius, Sawyer had sat the three of them down to discuss...them. Whatever that meant, whatever that looked like, they were still figuring out. Adrian and Jax weren’t great at talking about their feelings with each other, but with them as a middle person? Things escalated.

They always did. 

Then they were murdered by Jax’s sword, became a vampire, reclaimed order in New York, and were working on creating something better than the old vampire council. Something kinder, more inclusive. What happened before with the Clanless rebels couldn’t happen again. 

But, on their days off, even when they didn’t agree, in each other they could always find a different kind of solace. 

Adrian sighed in content, emitting a satisfied hum when Sawyer moved in to kiss him; he wound an arm around their neck to pull them in closer. Sawyer made a soft noise in the back of their throat, pleased. _Oh god yes **.**_ Every ounce of good sense, every slither of rationality, gone with the wind. The moment their lips met his, it all blurred into a haze. A white smoke plum casting its shadow over his senses, leaving him helpless to all but bow into their touch. He’d worry about it in detail later, but for now he just wanted to _feel_. For now Sawyer's kneading their fingers over his shaved head and whimpering against his lips, and he baits them to come closer. As things became more heated between them, all thoughts of sleep evaporated from their minds. Soon Sawyer had climbed onto his lap, teasing his lower lip between their teeth, grinding down onto him.

Stars. He sees stars. Small, dazzling, little colored lights that consume his senses, and render him momentarily speechless. 

When their mouth moved lower to nibble along Adrian’s jaw, the vampire turned to look at Jax, who was watching them, pupils blown black with lust. “Care to join us, Matsuo?” he asked roughly, his entire body sagging when Sawyer nipped at his pulse line. 

“Thought you’d never ask,” the Japanese male replied, crawling across the bed to lay alongside them, and Adrian cried out when he latched on to his collarbone. Sawyer made room for the rebel leader easily. One thing that Jax and themselves had in common was how much they fucking _loved_ spoiling Adrian Raines rotten. 

Adrian swore when Sawyer licked their way back up his neck, catching his earlobe. “This’ll teach you not to stay out so late without us,” they murmured, sinking one fang into the soft flesh, and Adrian’s whole body twitched. He groaned and bucked when Jax took a nipple into his mouth, rolling it between his fangs. “This is what happens when we stay up for hours missing you, boss.” 

“I’m _hardly_ your b--” His breath hitched when Sawyer’s wandering hand found purchase on his cock, rubbing it through the fabric of his boxers. “ _This_ is hardly a boss-employee relationship, Sawyer.” Adrian made a mental note to show up late more often if this was the sort of treatment he received for it. He humped shallowly into Sawyer’s palm, grunting. “Not that I exactly mind.” Sawyer cackled at his admission and moved their hand away, pulling his boxers down before he could complain about the loss. They helped strip it off him while Jax took their spot, giving feverish kisses to the elder vampire, who responded hungrily in turn. 

The three of them had spent countless nights learning about the spots that made each of them see stars, and now that their exploration period was over, they were _good_ at it. Tonight, though, they were more worried about having _Adrian_ see stars. 

While Jax took kiss after kiss in quick succession, Adrian noticed something that made his mouth dry up. _Sawyer was sucking his dick._ “Mmgh, _fuck_ , Sawyer--!” he gasped, but Jax swallowed his words with another ravenous kiss. Meanwhile Sawyer bobbed their head, fingers tracing mindless patterns across his sensitive thighs as they lapped and hummed and made filthy noises that made Adrian shudder. Clearly it was having some effect on Jax, too, if his dick prodding Adrian’s midriff was anything to go by. 

They’re going be the death of him. And as someone who’s _actually_ technically died, that’s saying something. They felt so fucking good. Every kiss, every drag of their teeth, every flick of their tongue, pushed him to a new edge. Seeing them laid before him, nude and inviting, sent a new wave of arousal through him and made his heart pang wildly in his chest. Like a man deprived, every second he wasn’t touching one of them was a wasted moment. And after all was said and done, being intimate with them was the only thing that made him feel _alive_. 

At some point their positions had changed, though Adrian had no idea how it had happened. Honestly, he didn't even remember who had taken Sawyer's tank top off, but he wasn't about to start asking questions now. He was sitting in between Jax and Sawyer, the latter who was positioning themselves above his cock while they kissed him with a tenderness that made his stomach coil with a feeling he did not have words for now, and the juxtaposition was driving him _wild_. “I love how old and weird and beautiful you are,” Sawyer told him, voice absolutely wrecked as they lowered themselves onto him. Jax’s fingers were pressing at Adrian’s asshole, and the two of these actions happening at once made Adrian shiver, a broken whimper escaping him. 

“Thanks, I think,” Adrian replied, unable to help himself from laughing aloud. “You say the most ridiculous things.” But he felt a burst of fondness for the strange individual who had come into his life, little Sawyer Salazar, armed with nothing but their humanity and wit, and they asked for nothing from him but whatever humanity he had left, whatever kindness he had to offer. They were naïve and blunt and tenacious and he was quite sure that, maybe, he loved them. That scared him. He did not have a good track record of keeping the people he loved ali--

As Jax’s fingers plunged into him, Adrian straightened in shock, body fully erect like a marionette, before lowering his head to Sawyer’s shoulder. They slowed, smoothing their hands down his arms to calm him, kissing his hair and temple until he relaxed. Only then did Sawyer continue their mission: bring Adrian to his knees. 

Jax kissed Adrian’s shoulders and then his back, moving and scissoring his fingers within him in the meantime. “ _Jax_ ,” Adrian gasped. " _Jax,_ Jax--" And then there was Jax, who asked for his compassion and the best of his moral compass, who wanted more of him, more _from_ him, always more than Adrian believed he had to give. Jax, who wanted to protect the Clanless, who would have stayed and died beside them if he could, who made deals with people he shouldn’t to keep them all safe, deals with people like the Baron. Who fought and begged and kissed whomever he needed to protect those people. But when he kissed Adrian like _that_ or stroked a hand down Sawyer’s side with such reverence, it was hard for Adrian to believe that they were only a tactical mission. That Jax hadn’t caught feelings along the way. 

He’d never told anyone his theories, but he wondered. He had always wondered. 

Something larger pushed into where Jax’s fingers had been and Adrian stiffened. Sawyer gathered him into their arms and kissed his thoughts away. Jax sucked the juncture of his throat and shoulder. Adrian's mouth fell open soundlessly, and then he urged them to continue, to fill him until all he could see was the sky, and they moved together slowly, letting Adrian get used to the stretch, swallowing his gasps and pants, smoothing hands down his spine and brow and arms, holding him in place with bruising strength as they loved him. Sawyer nuzzled their nose against Adrian’s, full of soft affection even in the throes of sex, and he captured their mouth in a ferocious kiss—showing his appreciation in the best way he could right now. Jax, breathless and disheveled, cheeks rosy, lips parted, leaned forward to suck on the soft spot on Adrian's neck as he slammed into him again and again and _again_. Their groans and cries and soft nothings disappeared into the morning. 

\-- 

When they woke it was sunset, beginning to get dark outside at long last. Jax was the first to come to life; he stirred drowsily, face turned into Sawyer’s curly hair. He watched them breathe even though they didn’t need to, listened to their heart beat although it didn’t have to anymore, admired them when their hands wandered to draw him closer even though they had somebody else they could have held instead. He really didn’t understand why Sawyer chose him when they could have had anyone. Hell, they chose him before they had discovered the possibility to have them both. Not that he minded—vampires were hardly monogamous creatures, and he hadn’t even _known_ that Adrian Raines, the CEO of Raines Corporation, was somebody he wanted until Sawyer had given him the option to find out. And somehow Adrian had wanted that, too. Wanted them. Wanted _him_.

Jax had no idea how he had ended up lucky enough to end up the lover of these two vampires, but he wasn’t about to question it now. Not if he wanted to keep it. 

Sawyer folded him into their arms—at some point they had woken up and noticed him watching, he supposed—and tucked him under their chin. “I love you, you know that?” they murmured, and Jax’s throat tightened in emotion. Sometimes he forgot that Sawyer wore their heart on their sleeve, wore every emotion for the whole world to see. It wasn't normal for him to speak openly about his feelings, but Sawyer never seemed to mind--they were open enough for the both of them. “More than anything.” 

“More than Adrian?” he asked, and then wished he hadn’t. He felt Sawyer wince more than he saw it, and soon he was released from their hold. He cursed himself. Their wide eyes took him in. Then Sawyer released a breath. 

“It’s different. Not more, but different. I love you, and him. Just like you love me and him. It’s different, but not necessarily more. Y’know?” Jax wasn’t sure his feelings for Adrian qualified as love, but he was certain it was _something_. Whatever it was, he would need to figure it out. Sawyer sighed when they saw his face. “Clearly you haven’t noticed it yet, but you will, I think. I hope. You feel a whole lot more than you think you do.” Sawyer knew for a fact that everybody had noticed Adrian and Jax’s connection except for the two of them, so they weren’t super worried about it for right now. In time, it would come.

Jax studied Sawyer for a long, heated moment, and they returned his gaze earnestly. Finally he sighed, then smiled, and Sawyer smiled back. “Okay, I believe you.” 

“I hope so! You know honestly is my policy, Jax Matsuo. And I am the absolute shittiest liar.” Sawyer kissed him once, gave him a look he couldn’t decipher, then rolled over to shake Adrian awake. “Hey. Hey, honey? We need to get going. The night isn’t going to wait for us, and we have meetings today!” 

Adrian moved, not quite awake, while Jax groaned. “ _Fuck_ all that. I’m not going.” 

Sawyer glared over their shoulder at him. “Good, nobody wanted to meet with you anyway, Jax.” Jax laughed, and Adrian grinned despite trying to pretend he was still asleep. Hopelessly endeared by the 200-something year old vampire, Sawyer kissed the corner of his mouth. “Adrian. Mr. Raines? Bossman? Grandpa? _Awaken_.” 

This time Adrian laughed out loud. Opening his eyes, he smirked at his two idiots. “Grandpa? You both admit to having sex with a grandpa earlier?” 

Jax groaned and covered his face with a hand, flushed scarlet at the accusation. Sawyer just threw their head back and howled. 

“Come _on_ , boys. I can’t be the only one to show up to these meetings with government officials. They barely know me! What do I know about diplomacy? We _all_ know that my technique is murder, 10/10,” the youngest of the vampires exclaimed, giggling still. This was all true. Historically, Sawyer picked up a stake to deal with their problems, whether those problems be Ferals, Gaius, Rheya, or the countless other vampires who had crossed them. Though Sawyer was a pacifist at heart, their actions spoke otherwise. A sheepish expression crossed their face, and Adrian and Jax laughed so hard that their shoulders shook and their eyes watered. 

It was crazy to think that they were safe, that they were rebuilding. Nobody was hunting for them or chasing them out of their city. Of course, that did not mean that the fight was over or that there wasn’t more to do, but at least they had something to look forward to. Even if it was just exchanging heated looks from across conference room tables and then tumbling into each other’s arms at daybreak. For now, though, it was enough. 

Grinning broadly, Sawyer offered one last kiss to Jax, then Adrian, before slipping out of bed. They rummaged for a sweater and slacks in their drawers—and in the meantime Adrian and Jax could admire their figure unabashedly. Which they did. Unabashedly.

“No underwear today?” Jax snickered. He avoided Adrian when he tried to elbow him. 

“Underwear is for cowards.” They pulled on their clothes, adding a blazer to the mix so they could look more professional when they met with these high ranking officials. “As Lily would say, #GirlBoss.” 

“You’re not a girl.” 

“I know, but if I were, I’d look like this.” Sawyer picked up some clothes of theirs from the clothes to drop in the laundry basket and left the room, probably to get breakfast ready. The room didn’t feel as warm without them in it, but that was natural. Sawyer simply had that kind of presence. 

The two men exchanged looks, daring the other to get out of bed first. Of course, it was Adrian who moved, because he was a goody-two shoes and because he wanted to get to the orange juice first before Jax could drink it from the container like an _animal_. Adrian got dressed for the day of “work”, if reestablishing order in a different species of bipedal creatures even qualified as “work” anymore, while Jax slumped against the armada of pillows, watching him shamelessly. One good thing about having partners who were vampires was how goddamn _pretty_ they both were. 

Eventually he got out of the bed too, but only to pull on some shorts. Adrian buttoned up his pants mindlessly as his gaze wandered over to the other. “You’re not getting dressed?” 

He shrugged. “I can get dressed later. I don’t take as much time as you and Sawyer.” 

The CEO raised an eyebrow. “You think I take too much time getting ready?” 

“Absolutely.” Jax grinned as he walked over. “I’ll see you on the other side, Captain America,” he said. He gave Adrian a peck on the lips and left the room as well. 

Adrian paused, touching a hand to his lips, bemused. Then he smiled. 

Maybe he was wrong about everything. God, he hoped so. 

He could get used to getting kisses from Jax without prompting from Sawyer. 

Still smiling to himself, he pulled on a shirt and followed Sawyer and Jax. They had a very full day ahead of them, and he wanted to get as much domestic time in before they had to leave.


	2. It was enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sawyer, Adrian, and Jax daydream about each other often, and Jax has a mini-crisis about feelings and relationships.

_You're_ ** _consumed_** _by him._

_Every fiber of your being yearns. Him, you need him. More of him. You can’t get enough._

_Your bodies may already be melded together, a mass of sweaty skin and salt, but heavens, bring him closer._

_He’ll ask if he was okay, if everything felt good, if he can do anything to make you feel_ ** _better_** _._

_For a long while you two just talk. You're king of pillow talk._

_He’ll run his fingers through your hair while propped on one elbow, just listening to every and any story you have for him._

_His hands are constantly on you. Through your hair, ghosting across your sides, tracing patterns along your spine. He can’t bring himself to part from you._

_You're just so fucking happy. You didn’t know it was possible to be this happy._

_Being with him makes you_ _happy._

“Sawyer?” 

The individual blinked, straightening up, eyes widening a fraction. Sawyer turned to look at the source of the voice. “Oh, hey, Kamilah! What’s good?” 

Kamilah blinked. “Nothing is...um... _good_.” She sounded robotic, frankly, and it made Sawyer smile. At least some things never changed. Even as their relationship warped and morphed around them, Kamilah was still the master of awkward conversations. “You were staring at the wall and blushing, and I wanted to stop you before anyone saw you.” 

Sawyer, at least, had the decency to look embarrassed. They scratched their cheek uncomfortably. “Er, thanks. That would have been weird to try and explain out loud.” Especially since they were having some sort of lucid wet dream. 

Smiling, Kamilah began walking again, and Sawyer followed. They barely had the opportunity to spend time together anymore with all the meetings. They had just been _leaving_ one when Sawyer’s mind had gone immediately to the gutter. Just the memory made them flush. “Who were you thinking of?” she asked lightly. “Or who were you _remembering_?” 

Tugging a lock of hair, Sawyer released an odd, shrill sort of laugh that made them immediately grimace. Why were they being so _weird_ right now? “Oh, nobody in particular. Either of them.” A slow sort of smile spread across their face. “Was it that obvious that I was thinking about them, though?” 

“Painfully,” Kamilah replied tonelessly, and Sawyer snorted and gave her a shove. 

\-- 

_Everything came in slow motion._

_Seconds felt like hours, each flickering gaze felt loaded, and ever so slightly it seemed like you were moving closer and closer._

_And when your lips finally fell upon h_ _i_ _s, he could’ve sworn the world stopped turning..._ _to put it lightly._

_Now everything was you. Your name a lilting chorus in h_ _is_ _head as he memorized your scent, your taste, the way your body purred when he wrapped an arm around your neck._

_You._

_Nothing else mattered in this moment. You kissed him. You_ ** _really_** _kissed him. He’d have to pinch himself later, a reminder that this_ _actually happened_ _._

_When you pull back, he’ll hook his arm around you and pull you back in. Now that he’s kissed you once, he’ll have to kiss you twice._

_And three, four, five, more times..._ _j_ _ust for good measure._

Somebody tapped a finger to his nose and Adrian stiffened. He turned to look at Lily, who was watching him with open amusement. “You look horny as all hell, my dude.” 

“ _Lily_ ,” he hissed, covering his face with a hand to hide his blush. “Why do you never think before you speak? Honestly.” 

Laughing heartily, Lily clapped a hand on his back before hopping onto the table to sit. She peered down at him, waiting for him to get a hold on himself. Then she made a big show of looking around the room. “I actually came here looking for Sawyer. They weren’t in the Shadow Den 3.5, and if they aren’t there hooking up with the Shadow King--” Adrian grinned at her name for Jax Matsuo, his bed mate and a thorn in his side. “--then they’re here hookin’ up with you.” _And_ then he was embarrassed again. 

Truly. 

“I don’t think there was any other era in history that I’ve lived through where people were so flippant about other people’s relationships.” 

“Relationships? More like sex life.” Adrian groaned. “Now, have you seen them, or not?” 

Once he had gotten control of his expression, Adrian responded. “No, they haven’t come home yet. I can tell them you stopped by, though.” 

Lily nodded in appreciation. Then she laughed again, shaking her head. “I’ll try by their apartment that they’re never in.” She gave him a knowing look so lewd that he had to look away, a breath of a laugh leaving his lips. Lily was absolutely incorrigible. But he wouldn’t change a thing about her. “See you around, Adrian!” She pressed a fond kiss to his cheek before heading out of the room, hips sashaying. 

Smiling, Adrian went back to his work, continuing to type up his email. Strangely, the words came easier to him now. 

\-- 

_Soft, gentle, kisses._

_On your lips, your cheeks, the crown of your hair, each lingering a little longer than the last._

_He’s quiet afterwards, preferring to show you how he feels rather than let words fall short._

_Sharing something like that with you, it’s almost enough to steal the breath from his lips._

_He can’t believe, can’t even begin to thank the stars, for how_ _lucky_ _he is._

_Are you cold? Sleepy? Hungry? Please...tell him. Let him take care of you. It’s no trouble at all._

_He’ll fix you a drink, share a glass of water with you, just enjoy the small intimacies he gets to have with you after sex._

_When all’s said and done, he just lays by your side and watches the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you fall into slumber._

_He’s in love, he’s in love, he’s in love._

Jax rested his brow against the wall, panting lightly. He had been sparring, and then he had been daydreaming, and he really didn’t know how long it had been going for. Swiping sweat away from his forehead, the Clanless leader righted himself, wishing he was less distracted. He seemed to always be distracted lately. If it wasn’t thoughts of Sawyer and their crooked smile, then it was Adrian and the dimples carved out of his cheeks, or it was vague dreams that were more like memories that honestly could be either of them. 

Part of him hated it, hated how he couldn’t be on his toes. 

The other part of him wanted to find Adrian, or Sawyer, of both, and throw them onto the nearest surface so he could fuck them silly. 

With a sigh, Jax carded a hand through his hair. He’d head to take a cold shower first, then he would take a quick look around the newest version of the Shadow Den to make sure everyone was doing alright, then-- 

“Huh? Sawy--?” 

The petite vampire kissed him fiercely, pressing him against the wall as they grabbed a fistful of his hair, and Jax’s breath caught in his throat. He never realized how much he _wanted_ this until it had sneaked up on him. His hands found purchase on their waist as they dragged their teeth across his lips, jaw, throat, and then he was pulling them as close to him as he could manage. “I’ve been thinking about you all day,” they whispered hotly into his ear, and he shuddered, words choked out of him. Sawyer kissed and kissed and kissed him. 

Then their kisses slowed, and Jax cupped their face in his hands reverently, pressing himself closer. One final kiss, and it was soft, a meager brush, but it made him feel light. He couldn’t recall a time anyone had ever treated him so fragile, and yet here Sawyer was, just barely ghosting their fingers over his scars and looking at him like he might shatter in two. 

Such tenderness was rare in his world. He had gone most of his life without it. But now that Sawyer was here, dangling the temptation of something _normal_ before him, he wondered for a moment if he could have this. If he could let himself be to be vulnerable, to be cared for by someone other than himself. 

His world was still so small, but this felt like the start of something bigger--something to expand his horizons. And that was all thanks to them. He leaned into their touch, responsive as always. Sawyer gave him a warm squeeze before threading their fingers together, clasping his hand tightly to their own. “I think you should skip your nightly patrol and come home instead,” they declared, and he paid attention again. “Nikhil can take care of things here, and you know he’s been looking for something to do. The world does not have to be shouldered _singularly_ by you.” Jax’s lips thinned, but Sawyer didn’t give him a chance to reply, turning to pick up his jacket, handing it over to him. “It’s okay for you to take some time for yourself, y’know.” 

“Yeah, I do. I just don’t have to _like_ it.” he muttered. Then he looked over the younger vampire, raising his eyebrows. “You’re dressed nice. What happened to the outfit you wore to our Congressional meeting earlier?” 

‘Lily spilled water on it. And by spilled, I mean she intentionally _dumped_ it on me. I was taking a power-nap in between meetings and Kamilah casually didn’t wake me up for who knows how long.” Sawyer rolled their eyes. “She took me shopping as an apology, which I would’ve believed if she had stopped laughing about it for more than, like, two seconds.” 

Jax admired them for a moment longer before he was being propelled forward—Sawyer had taken his hand again at some point, apparently. He didn’t know when he had started to let his guard down around them, but it happened often now. Sawyer was always sneaking around to hug him from behind or grab his ass, and it wasn’t so long ago that that sort of behavior would have ended badly. Like him overreacting and thinking it was an attack and launching them across the room or something equally as extreme. It wouldn’t be the first time he had nearly dismembered somebody for surprising him. 

But everything was different now. The Clanless were safer than they ever had been, Jax was some sort of high-ranking official among vampires now, and weirdly enough, even if Kamilah and Adrian turned on him for some reason, he _knew_ that Lily and Sawyer wouldn’t. And he trusted that the elder vampires would listen to the younger ones. They cared about them and their opinions. 

“--ax. Jax? Hey, space cadet, your mind is a _million_ miles away right now.” They were out of the Shadow Den and walking down the streets of New York, heading toward Sawyer’s apartment. With the income they had made during their time working for Raines Corp, they had been able to pay the first few month’s rent there while they searched for another job. They didn’t want to overstay their welcome at in Adrian’s guest suites forever. They had come to New York City to do something spectacular, and they weren’t convinced that saving their friends and overthrowing a few dictators qualified if only the five of them were going to know about it. Sawyer had so much to live and see. 

Thankfully, they wanted him to be a part of it. 

Adrian too, but he understood why. Why not want a hot billionaire who worshiped you along for the ride? 

Sawyer planted a kiss on his forehead, standing on their tiptoes to do it, and Jax found himself grounded to the present. He smirked. “Sorry, I was thinking. What were you saying?” 

“Nothing too important. Just updates on the state of the United States and how much I’ve wanted to pull you and Adrian into various closets and kiss you silly. The usual.” Jax chuckled. Sometimes Sawyer had a one-track mind, and it was _always_ telling them to fuck Adrian, himself, or them both at any given moment. It was like Sawyer had a sixth sense telling them when either of the men needed physical or emotional affection, and they were a willing supplier. 

“One of these days somebody is going to catch you being horny in a conference, Sawyer.” 

“Oh, Kamilah caught me today, actually. It was pretty embarrassing. Lily catches me often, too, but we’ve seen each other doing worse.” Sawyer grinned. Jax was pretty sure he didn’t want to know. 

They unlocked a door on the side of the building where they had been staying and let them both inside. Jax and Adrian had practically been living there the last few months. Though they both had their own homes, something about Sawyer’s space was homely in a way their own were not. Whether it was the jungle-like quality of it being absolutely _covered_ with plants, the myriad of photos of their group of friends over the last year or so, or just the fact that Sawyer was a stable presence there, Jax couldn’t say. But he found as much comfort being there as he did in the Shadow Den. Perhaps even more, he mused, taking off his shoes at the door and following Sawyer; Sawyer expected nothing from him but his time and his love. Things one would ask from any significant other, things he could give. Not money or protection or fame. Maybe that was the difference. 

When Jax had gone to rescue Sawyer, then a human, from the clutches of the Baron and his men, he had wanted an ally, a mole. When Sawyer, in typical way-too-forward Sawyer fashion, had escalated their relationship, he had known he had succeeded. Everything that happened afterward? Falling in with the Council vampires, catching feelings for Sawyer (and Adrian?), accepting their comfort and kisses and help—none of that had been part of the plan. He had known he couldn’t trust the Council, or any of their affiliates, but he had anyway. 

Naturally, it was Sawyer’s fault. 

“What are you thinking about now?” the individual in question asked, returning to where he was standing, a glass of wine in hand. They passed it off to him, and he accepted gladly. He was _always_ down for a drink. 

“Oh, how everything is your fault, always.” 

“You right.” They laughed. 

“Most people wouldn’t be so proud,” Jax informed them, trying to suppress a smile. “You’re truly a nuisance.” Sawyer curtsied and he snorted, nudging them lightly with an elbow. “Where do you think we’d be right now if you hadn’t been hired at Raines Corp?” 

Sawyer paused, clutching their own wine glass in hand, brow furrowed. “Hm. I’d never considered it. I guess I don’t like imagining a life with any potential of you not being in it?” Something in Jax’s chest seized, warmth flooding him, but he tried to keep his expression neutral. “Realistically, I would have probably died during Gaius’ sort lived reign. But if I had been evacuated and everything had gone well? Lily would be human, I would be living in my own apartment probably, and I’d be surrounded by boring human friends who don’t challenge me to be better, or stronger, or anything. I’m not having second thoughts, if that’s what you’re asking.” They looked at him over the rim of their glass, and Jax wondered if he had always been this transparent, or if Sawyer just knew him too well. 

He hummed. “That _does_ sound boring. Are you using your Bloodkeeper powers?” 

“Nah, consent is mandatory for that, my dude.” 

Jax figured as much, but he felt like he needed to ask, anyway. “Right.” He took a big swallow of his wine. “Which of us was first?” 

“First at what?” Sawyer sat on their couch, patting the cushion next to them. He took a seat too, as requested, and grinned when Sawyer immediately scooted closer, resting their head on his shoulder. Jax wrapped an arm around them, resting his head on the crown of their hair. “Kissing? Fucking? Falling in love?” Jax shrugged, not really knowing why he had asked, but he had always wondered. “Adrian, Adrian, and you.” 

He started, surprised at the admission, before lifting his head to fix them with a certain look that made them squirm. “You’re telling me that you fucked Adrian when he was still your new _boss_? How _bold_ , Sawyer.” 

Their body shook with laughter against him, and he didn’t even have it in him to be jealous, honestly. He was too busy being pleased that they had loved him before Adrian, which was irrational since they clearly wanted them both _now_ , in the present, but still. It mattered a lot to him to know it. That while Adrian had clearly cared for Sawyer before even considering Jax, Sawyer _had_. “You’re both too pretty for your own good. And he had Turned Lily! I was grateful, and a smidgen smitten--” 

“ _A smidgen smitten_ \--” 

“--and it was so, _so_ tempting. I didn’t think anything more would come of it, though. Not until much later. Not until after we rescued him and were in the cabin. Being on the run is a very humanizing experience?” They hit his chest when he laughed at them, but there was no real anger in it. “Hey, it was! It _is_!” 

Jax kissed the top of their head, and the fire in them slowly died as they got comfortable against him again, still nursing their drink. “Okay, okay. Does Adrian know?” 

“Yeah, actually.” Seeing his surprised, Sawyer took pity on him. “I talked to him before you. About being poly, I mean. I figured he was such a morally upright person that he would take more convincing about it. I was wrong.” Jax had fought tooth and nail about there being _any_ extra feelings there, and Sawyer had needed to warm him up to it, which mainly consisted of having sex without a third and realizing they both missed it. Thoroughly. “But he was open to it. I guess being alive for two hundred fifty years makes you very in touch with your own feelings and desires. Adrian was so, _so_ down to being with both of us. And I made it clear it would be both, or neither.” They shrugged. “I didn’t want to lead him on if he was expecting anything different. But he asked when we talked about it all.” 

Lost in thought, Jax gave the wiry vampire a squeeze, appreciating their honesty, as always. They were always good about telling others exactly what was on their mind. Which is not something he was used to seeing in people. It meant a lot that Sawyer was always straightforward with him. It probably helped him learn to trust them so much. Even now they were laying with their mouth so close to his neck, and he trusted them not to tear it out. 

It wasn’t like they had nothing to gain. They would have Adrian, and access to the Shadow Den. They were connected to the First One, Rheya—they didn’t need _any_ of this, or him, or anything else. They could have everything if they wanted to. But they didn’t, and they wouldn’t. 

When he moved to kiss them, not even thinking about it, they tilted their head upward. They each kissed with an uncharacteristic softness, both taking solace in the embrace of another. 

When a weight landed on the other side of the couch and a hand brushed its way along Jax’s thigh, neither were surprised. “Why didn’t you wake me?” Adrian whispered, pressing his lips against the coarse material of Jax’s jacket against his shoulder. 

Sawyer broke away from Jax, pinkening. “You looked like you were actually getting _rest_. Of course I didn’t wake you.” They leaned forward to take one of Adrian’s wandering hands, giving it a kiss. Jax turned his head, eyes drifting to the vampire’s dark, plump lips, which were parted and _oh_ so kissable. So he kissed them, naturally. As Adrian melted into the kiss, almost all his weight against Jax’s back now, Sawyer watched them, eyes half-lidded with desire. They lowered their mouth to Jax’s neck, scraping their fangs along the skin there, and Jax gave a delicious shudder. 

Soon they were all lounging on the couch again, each of them too tired to do much more than make out sessions. Sawyer was tucked under Jax’s arm again, head on his shoulder, and Adrian was draped on Jax’s lap while Sawyer smoothed their hand over his head, kneading their fingers into the skin while he turned to jelly beneath their ministrations. Jax looked from one to the other, bemused as he so often was when he saw the too being so emotionally vulnerable and loving, especially since they both had so much to lose. Yet they were here. 

He didn’t understand it, not yet. But perhaps he could trust it. 

Making a soft sound of distress, Sawyer turned and kissed the underside of Jax’s chin, which was all they could reach. “You’re thinking too loud,” they informed him, and he chuckled. 

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” came Adrian’s voice, a little muffled by his position. 

Whatever it is they were, they were figuring it out. Everything would be alright one way or another. But now, with Sawyer and Adrian willingly in his arms and, more often than not, in his bed, he found he didn’t need an explanation for once. They wanted him, and he wanted them. It was enough. 


	3. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sawyer confronts Jax about his feelings, and it goes surprisingly well for our favorite emotionally stunted vampire!

He had been anxious all day. About his future, about that of the Shadow Den, about creating a new council if they couldn't agree on how to form a democracy, about _everything_ as of late. Nothing he did was ever good enough. Jax had to do better.

Clarity. Finally, he could breathe again. 

All this time wandering, searching, trying to piece together the tidbits of his life. He had been too cautious to admit it, too busy running in circles to have time to make peace with it, but he was _scared_. What if he _never_ secured peace for them? Never paid his debts to what was left of the council? Never lived up to his parents’ expectations? 

It was a thrashing in his head that never stopped. These persistent migraines hammering away at his reserve, until finally it got so loud, he could hardly stand it. 

Then Sawyer kissed him and... _silence_. 

The persistent wailing of doubt momentarily hushed, and finally he could release the breath he had been holding all day. 

Kissing them was his peace, a sanctuary during these perilous times. Now that he had it, he needed it again and again. 

Jax never needed to be saved, he learned that years ago. But sometimes he lost his way, and in turn lost himself. Yet somehow Sawyer found him, kept him grounded. 

For whatever it’s worth, with Sawyer around he no longer feels afraid. 

Sawyer gave him one final, resounding kiss before taking a step back. They smiled at him. Jax watched them curiously, then gave a rueful shake of his head. “How did you know?” he asked them, somewhat incredulously. _How did Sawyer always know?_ “I told you, I’ve been thinking of you all day.” Sawyer beamed at him. “But I also got an inkling from Lily. She came around looking for me earlier, apparently, and you just about bit her head off. And I had a guess.” 

“Yeah? What do you think it is, sexual frustration?” His hands were already reaching out to draw them back, though. He _needs_ to feel them. To be as close as possible. Call it fear or insecurity, but something in him thrums when Sawyer was gone. A panic that they’ll slip through his fingers and he’ll lose them all over again. As always, his hands wander and seek, an unquenchable thirst to draw them close, close, _closer._ Sawyer keened quietly and tried to close the distance, goaded into kissing again, focusing on stealing his breath away. Ghosting fingers and whispers of touch, anything to remind him that they were there, Sawyer's with him, they’re safe. With every press of their lips, every brush of their skin, he falls deeper. Drowning them in his senses and hopelessly losing himself until it feels like they were one. 

_So touch him. Keep him close. Make me yours._

“No.” They shook their head once they parted again, much to Jax's chagrin, rubbing their thumbs over his knuckles soothingly. They had taken his hands in their own to keep him centered, apparently, and so he wouldn't interrupt again. “Your holding the world on your shoulders thing. I know from...other conversations we’ve had how hard it is for you to trust people. Especially council members. And, and I know that it’s hard for you to trust me, too, even though you want to.” Jax looked away, but didn’t move, which they took as a good sign. “But, like...you know that we’re all in this together, right? We’ve saved the world at _least_ three times together now. And now we’re recreating it. But that’s not everything, though—think about it, Jax. If we wanted to go anywhere, we’ve had _countless_ times to do it already.” 

Jax rolled his eyes. “Pfft, thanks for that absolutely awful thought to consider forever.” 

“I mean it, _listen_. Jax, honey, please.” He looked back at Sawyer uncertainly. “We all owe each other debts, and we’ve had months to ditch each other because of it, but we haven’t. And we won’t.” They squeezed his hand comfortingly. “Quite frankly, we like you. And I _love_ you. So does Adrian, though I don’t think he knows it yet. You’re enough. Your accomplishments, your past, and you as an individual. We _want_ _you_.” 

That made the rebel leader go quiet for a beat, speechless and emotional in one, and his gaze dropped to the floor almost shyly in a way that made Sawyer want to gather him into their arms and kiss him silly until he forgot every person who had ever made him believe he needed to be anyone other than himself to be cared about. But they were afraid that he would flinch if he did, so for now they gave him space to contemplate this new situation he found himself in. 

When he finally speaks his voice is rough, wet with unshed tears. “And if you change your mind?” There was no way is parents, or his grandparents, could have loved him in this form. It was ludicrous that they would be any different. 

“I died for you, and rejected the First Vampire for you. I think you know the answer to that question already, honey.” They watched a certain sort of brightness fill his eyes, something new, something _hopeful,_ and they smiled because, finally, they _had_ him. 

This time he only sounded a little hysterical when he spoke. “You really mean it, huh?” 

“Mhm. I do.” Sawyer gently let him access their mind, seeing whatever he needed to see there, and they felt the change in his breathing when he got his answer. 

He pulled them to his chest before they could even blink, hugging them as hard as he could, nose flattened against their shoulder. Jax truly didn’t know why they had chosen him, but he really couldn’t doubt it anymore, now could he? “Wow. Okay. Wow, you’re serious.” He laughed, but it was more like a sob, and shook his head slightly. “I’ve been going about this all wrong, haven’t I?” Sawyer nodded kindly. “I need to talk to Adrian.” Jax pulled back to look at Sawyer for verification, which they gave to him. If they all wanted to be a part of this relationship that they had, they needed to get their feelings on the table before anything else could get in the way. Before anything else could be skewed, or misinterpreted. He pressed his forehead to Sawyer's, feeling them lean in responsively. These moments were precious.Little embers of bliss that warmed him to his very core. It was never anything intricate. All simple, all mundane, all made the better by Sawyer's company.

And what more could he want? For this is all he ever longed for, and as far as he was concerned, these were stolen moments granted on borrowed time. He was grateful for each and every one of them.

But he did want more, he decided thoughtfully. He wanted Adrian, too, despite every reason he had not to.

“..I have to go, then.” Jax whispered. Sawyer let his fingers trace the patterns of their skin and let his eyes memorize the way their lashes flutter. Who knows how many more of these moments any of them may have. If jax wanted to remember every little detail, then Sawyer would indulge. 

Sawyer kissed him softly, then smiled. “Jax, I am really proud of you. I’ll get you in touch with your emotions yet!” Jax gave them an exasperated look. “I’ll catch y’all later, then.’ 

Jax nodded, smoothed a thumb along their jawline affectionately, and turned to dash out of the training chamber in the Shadow Den. He had to find that ridiculous CEO that he trusted beyond all reason and tell him.... 

Well, _everything_.

\--

Feverish. 

Jax kisses like he loves, he’s all in. Sometimes Adrian needed to tug gently on his hair to remind him that it’s okay. He's here, this is real, he's not going anywhere. Not to be too cliche, but his tongue tastes gently of black coffee. To be expected given his hours. No matter how valiant his attempts, the taste always remains, just barely above the surface. Kissing Jax feels an awful lot like setting sail in a storm, tumultuous at times, hysterical at others, but beautiful and captivating. 

Like sailors to the sea, Adrian was drawn to him.

At first he thought it had been because he was dangerous, because he had gone against the grain and defied the council, because he had organized a _militia_ of Clanless to fight them if needed--maybe Adrian was jealous, or wary, or afraid, but when Jax had burst into his office without a sign of their younger partner, declared that he was in love with him, and then kissed him as if he intended to fuck him there on the desk that very moment, Adrian wondered if he had actually wanted something more from Jax all along. His mind, his body, his soul.

He had fought so hard against it. Denial. Denial. Denial. Adrian Denial Raines, at your service.

And now Jax was pulling him closer and Adrian gasped into his open mouth, and Jax delved deeper until Adrian could feel every curvature of his lip, every flick of his tongue, how they moved with purpose. Though not a fan of waiting, Jax understood and appreciated the fine art of foreplay. Even more intimate than the act itself was every little touch that came before it. The devil was in the details, after all. When clear headed, his kisses were slow, teasing, time consuming. He took his time to appreciate the feel of Adrian's mouth against his. When not, they were haphazard, ravenous, clumsy. Teeth clashing, tongue lashing, clumsy.

It was one of _those_ nights.

The hunger in each kiss was like red wine and bad decisions. A cocktail of lust and a hint of longing. His kisses lingered longer than they should, as if the act alone could meld them into one. 

Closer, closer, closer. He just wanted to be closer. 

Jax pulled his pants down to his knees and Adrian sat on his desk, fumbling with the zipper of the other vampire's hoodie, low groan splintering when Jax immediately impaled himself on Adrian's dick, asshole slick and warm and inviting, and _fuck,_ did he already do the preparations before he even got to Raines Co.?! Adrian gaped wordlessly as he bottomed out, gripping onto Jax for dear life as the other began to buck his hips, a euphoric look on his face. Then they were moving as one, skin slapping against skin, grunting and moaning and whispering _harder_ and _faster_ and _more_ and _iloveyou_ s and then--

" _First help me--"_

"F--"

Adrian's wandering hands found purchase on the divot of his hips, mouth attaching to his throat to mark and show the world he was his. Jax twitched in his arms, picking up the pace as Adrian raked his fingernails down his back. He would mark him so much that when Sawyer saw him, they would know he had staked claims on the male. All the time he sank into that brilliant heat and _grip,_ Jax was smiling at him, digging his fingers into Adrian's arms when he finally began to pound into the other in turn, urging him along with breathless words that kept changing into grunts of his own effort. Their mouth meet, tongues twirling around each other and Adrian's body is full of heat and marveling, until Jax shifts in his lap a little and his dick slides taut against Adrian's stomach and they both let out soft, drawn out sounds. Soon Jax's cock in is Adrian's hand, pumping him to completion as he completely unravels with long, long pulses, and then he is kissing flecks of come off Adrian's chest.

They come apart after that, but contrary to what Adrian may have expected, Jax didn't put on his pants and leave. Instead he cradled Adrian's head in a way that was so incredibly tender that it made his eyes water and kissed him, gentler this time, a promise that things were changing.

And Adrian Raines believed him.


	4. That beautiful sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sawyer kicks some ass and their boyfriends are worried™.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bloodbound still doesn't belong to me, nor does its characters and any/all other intellectual property.  
> My interpretation of the MC is my own, however.

Just because they had no powerful enemies anymore didn't mean everything was right in the world. There wasn't a Council anymore and, if Jax and Sawyer had anything to say about it, there wouldn't be one, either. But that also meant that anarchists would have more leeway to get away with things, and their elite team didn't have time to address every single ragtag group that organized and made a nuisance of themselves. However, when there were illegal, wanton turnings?

That required some extra care.

At least one or more of the usual five would typically be sent out to deal with things if they got out of hand, and typically that was enough. Very rarely were three of them necessary to handle any other vampire.

Sawyer had volunteered (or, rather, had gone off and their own so as not to bother anyone else because they were all so _busy_ all of the time!) to investigate and put a stop to some turnings recently; some woman, Isabelle, had been trying to create some sort of vampire army and needed to be stopped, if Lily's intel was correct. It hadn't been difficult to track her down, but it _had_ been difficult to _take_ her down. And, admittedly, Sawyer had been reckless. Very much so. Enough so that, while they had walked away alive but bloodied, a limp in their step. _Seething_. Sawyer had seen an opening to take out the leader when their attempts at reasoning with Isabelle had gone awry and, with typical big dumbass energy, had barely pulled it off. Isabelle and her second were dead, the army was in shambles, and the newly turned were brought to a new facility that Kamilah had put together to help train all new vampires until they could be assimilated back into society. Overall it had been effective for the vampires who were interested in continuing on with their undead lives.

But now the issue was taken care of. Dropping their makeshift stake to the ground, Sawyer picked their way over ash and bodies, slipping a little bit on splashes of blood on the ground, arm wrapped around their rib cage as it reassembled itself. Sawyer walked blindly forward until they were on the street, donning a cloak to hide the blood on their clothes--if they were lucky, maybe the humans would think they were merely cosplaying and not, well, hiding their gory wounds.

By the time they had walked home their limp was gone and most of their injuries had healed. They let themself into their apartment with an exhale of relief, locking the door behind them. Sawyer paused a moment, reaching out with their senses to see if they were alone...but no, Jax and Adrian were in their bedroom, and the house smelled the sex. There was a distinct heat from the kitchen area, so they must have only just recently gotten home. _Late night_ , they thought to themself, worried about the fact. They toed their way out of their boots, hanged their cloak on a rung, and stripped off their stained clothes as they made their way toward the bathroom. They were sore and their head was throbbing, but in another hour or two they would surely be healed. There was no need to wake the men in the other room, they needed the rest. Well, not really. But Sawyer reasoned that sleep was probably good for them anyway. Plus they had been working themselves _so_ hard recently. That was why they had dealt with the rumors of the army on their own, not wanting the others to need to put anything else on their plate. Sawyer was a new vampire, young and sprightly! They could take care of things like this while the other four talked politics with whomever they so needed.

Twisting the knob of their shower, they waited for the water to warm up and start steaming before stepping into it, hissing in pain as the scalding water rained upon their scratched and bruised body. Tensing, they waited until the stinging went away before reaching for their soap, scrubbing the dirt and crusted blood off their body and out of their hair, carefully rinsing the more tender areas. They looked like they had been run over by a car, but that was okay. Nothing a good turtleneck couldn't hide at work tomorrow!

A few minutes later and they stepped out, towel around their shoulders, drying the last rivulets of water from their skin. They wiped mist off their mirror and peered at their face critically. "Gotta shave my head again soon," they murmured, frowning at the sprinkling of ginger hairs sprouting on the right side of their head. If it got longer it would grow in tufts over their ear and they _hated_ when it got that long. The other side could get as long as it wanted, but at least one side needed to be short at all times so they looked intimidating enough not to get approached by weird men at bars. _Though that matters an awful lot less now that I'm a vampire._ If anyone made them uncomfortable, they could just break one of his fingers or something.

They popped open the cap to a salve that Seraphine had given them the last time they'd met and rubbed it across places where their skin had chafed against the wall, then gently shimmied their way into one of Adrian's big, fuzzy robes that he had sneaked in a month or so ago during one of his visits. Jax and Adrian were both leaving things at their apartment now, which made sense considering how often they were both there. Maybe they were hinting something?

There was a frantic knocking at the bathroom door and Sawyer yelped, jumping. "Sawyer? Are you in there?" Adrian.

"Y-yes?"

A breath of relief. "Are you hurt?" This was stupid. Sawyer opened the door to the bathroom and faced him, eyes wide and confused. He embraced them immediately, too tight, and Sawyer whined low in the back of their throat. Adrian released them immediately, apologetic. "Oh, god, I'm sorry, are you alright? What happened? You _are_ hurt." He appraised them worriedly. Jax's head popped up over his shoulder, looking equally as concerned, and the vampire released a puff of air.

"Sawyer, you scared the living shit out of us! You left a trail of bloody clothes! What the _fuck_." Jax clouted them lightly over the back of their head, looking significantly _less_ apologetic when they winced.

"You two worry too much," Sawyer mumbled, embarrassed by their behavior. "Some lady was creating an army of the undead, Nikhil mentioned it offhandedly, and I fixed it. There was a fight, I won, I came back. I got a little hurt, sure, but I mean, we always do. It was _fine_." Adrain tugged insistently at the robe and Sawyer sighed, letting him drag it back off. Both of their boys growled at the bruises they saw there. "If I ever did this to you when _you_ got hurt, Jax, you'd skin me and hang me outside the Shadow Den as a warning to others."

Adrian smiled wryly. "Not me?"

Sawyer grinned. "No, I think you like the preening."

He laughed, letting them put the robe back on to cover them up, and wrapped an arm around their shoulders. Adrian kissed their forehead. "You're always so _reckless_ , Sawyer. I hoped you would stop taking risks now that you didn't have anything more to prove." As he spoke, Jax led them both to the couch in the living room, forcing them both to sit before perching himself on Sawyer's other side, snuggling into their shoulder. "Why did you go off without telling anyone?"

"I never said I didn't tell anyone."

"Did you?"

"...well, no. But I didn't say I didn't." Jax rolled his eyes and Adrian frowned. "Look, we're dating, but I don't need to announce where I'm going every time I go somewhere. You're my boyfriends, not my nannies."

"Sometimes it feels like I'm both," Jax informed them, and Sawyer bit back the urge to retort. It wasn't often that they were so straightforward with them--typically they both walked on eggshells, worried that the moment they were out of line, Sawyer would leave. Sawyer tried to encourage them to act like people once in awhile and tell them what they were thinking, and it was nice to see them _doing_ that. Of course, this hadn't been the conversation they'd had in mind when they had tried to coerce good communication out of the CEO and the rebel clan leader. "You need to be more careful. You may be the strongest vampire alive that we know of, but you're not _impenetrable_. We don't want to lose you." Jax met their gaze evenly, unwavering.

Adrian nodded his assent. "Exactly. Why did you go alone? Any one of us would have helped you."

They glared at the coffee table, feeling like a child being scolded. Finally, they muttered, "I'm not good at being a diplomat. Y'all know me--I go in guns blazin' almost always. I ask questions second, if there are people left to ask. But you're all _always_ busy. I didn't want this to be one more reason for any of you to come home tired when I knew it was something I could take care of. And I did. I-I've _more_ than proven myself, that I can do this, that I can pull my own weight. You just need to let me do it and not worry so much. I'm not going anywhere, and I am _not_ dying until I at _least_ reach a full human lifespan." Sawyer stared them both down this time, bristling. "I'll tell you next time, though. I'm sorry I worried you."

Those seemed to be the magic words--both men wilted, tension bleeding from their shoulders. After a long, quiet moment, Adrian gently rested his head on Sawyer's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I smelled blood and came out to find out what it was, and when I found your clothes I just--I remembered--"

Oh. Throat tightening, Sawyer gathered him into their arms, peppering his face with kisses. That explained a lot. Jax had been afraid too, yes, but nothing like Adrian pounding on the bathroom door once he'd scented them, nothing like him squeezing the life out of them without explaining himself. Adrian was always so even-tempered and good-natured, and he never questioned their agency like this, but that sentence contextualized a lot. He'd lost his family, he'd been too late to save them. His wife, his son. An old lover. People Sawyer had never known, people Adrian had loved before them. It was different than Jax, Jax who lost people because _he_ had changed into something different, not because they had been stolen. Jax had been the one stolen.

Sawyer didn't understand these experiences, not in the same way. Their sister had died two years ago and that had taken a toll on them, but it was because she had gotten sick, not because of anything else. Natural causes. A normal passing. Her throat hadn't been ripped out, and she hadn't been turned against her will into another species. Eventually Sawyer would need to leave their parents behind when they stopped aging...either that, or tell them. But that was an issue for another day. Their life was so, so different than Adrian's, than Jax's. It was a wonder they put up with their naivete at all. It would likely be easier for them not to.

But they both seemed to appreciate their humanity, their _life_. Even now that they were undead, Sawyer clung to the little kindnesses of a world that showed their people such cruelty.

" _I'm sorry_ ," Sawyer whispered, voice hitching. They paused to control it. "I should have thought--" They stopped, shook their head, and pulled themself back to look at Adrian again. "I've been insensitive tonight, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been. I'll tell you both before I go looking for trouble on my own again. I shouldn't have done it." Even if it was _for_ them. Adrian looked like he wanted to argue, perhaps to defend Sawyer's intentions, but they shook their head gently. "No, really. It's okay. This was my bad, and I can do better."

Smiling, Jax pressed a kiss behind their ear. He admired their willingness to say when they were wrong, he always had. "That's all we ask, love."

A part of Adrian understood that his lovers were vampires, and truly capable ones at that--he understood that they wouldn't fall so easily, that they had warrior spirits, that they loved him and were staying. But other parts of him were less certain. Sawyer's promise eased his mind, and for that he was thankful. Adrian kissed them soundly before nestling into their chest again, knowing they would let him stay there. It was one thing he appreciated in both of his lovers, their willingness to hold him, even little Sawyer, who he was most certainly larger than.

After spending some time in a pile on the couch they moved into the bedroom, parting only so Sawyer could get into pajamas. They climbed into bed and patted the spot in front of them, looking meaningfully at Adrian--he got the honor of being the little spoon tonight. Grinning, he accepted the position, laying down beside them, sighing happily when Sawyer's arm immediately wrapped around his middle, pulling him snug to them. Jax climbed in on the other side, burrowing his nose into the crook of Sawyer's shoulder, breath tickling the hair on the back of their neck.

At the end of the day, most of their nights ended with pillow talk and snuggles more often than anything else. Yes, the sex was great, but it wasn't necessarily what any of them actually needed from each other. The emotional connection was more important, the having a safe place to sleep and lay down all of their baggage, that was what mattered.

They hadn't sorted out all of the odds and ends of their relationship yet, but that was alright, too.

The way it was looking, they would have a millennium to figure it out.


	5. We are people now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jax and Adrian realize they don't know anything about Sawyer's family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bloodbound still doesn't belong to me~

It happened more frequently than any of them would like to admit.

People on the streets would look at the three vampires (not knowing that that was what they were, naturally) and would size the boys up. Even in New York City, one of the most open-minded cities in the world, bigots would ask Sawyer pointedly racist questions about "not being able to find a white man", to which they often responded with their fists before they even considered arguing about it. Adrian often had to pull them away. If it was Jax that they were out with, he would usually help. Even in 2020 there were still people who looked at them--a Japanese swordsman, an African-American billionaire, and the white Bloodkeeper--and make snap judgments about their relationship. Too many people were ignorant.

Adrian had been alive some 250 years and was unwilling to argue with people about these topics. "I've long since realized that some people will not have their minds changed about people like me," he told them once after they had turned him to face them, livid after one such altercation.

"But people _are_ changing! I didn't know any better once, and now I'm here. Things could get better," Sawyer insisted.

"Then perhaps I am just too tired to be the person to change them." That had shut them up. Sawyer, for their part, did not share these experiences of discrimination--but as a genderqueer individual, they at least could empathize. They had sighed, linked their hand with his, and leaned into him.

Jax, the son of two activists, was always ready to throw down. If Sawyer threw the first blow, he was quick to join them. Otherwise he would sneer and fight back about whatever blind, hateful comment had been said. He was no stranger to discrimination, and he was fully prepared to die on whatever hill he was arguing about. (It truly was a good thing that they had Adrian with them or they would both probably be dead.)

Today was no different. One comment about how Sawyer was 'dirty' for being with two people of color and the vampire had thrown a well-aimed jab at their throat. As the human gagged, hunched over as they tried to regain the air in their lungs, they prowled closer, bristling. Adrian sighed, but Jax was grinning, arms folded. He _loved_ watching his partner fight, especially on his behalf. It was so _unbelievably_ hot. "Maybe if you got your head out of your ass you'd be able to see what fucking year it is. Racism isn't a good color on you."

Raines reached out and caught their arm, pulling them back into line, shaking his head. "Sawyer, come on. They aren't worth it."

"They're not, but _you_ are--"

His grip tightened. " _Please_. Not here." They had just exited a new ramen bar that Sawyer and Jax had been _itching_ to try, and the night had been going _so_ well. He didn't want anything to ruin it.

The spitfire of a person met his gaze, underwhelmed by his request, but after a moment passed Sawyer exhaled, nodding. Adrian gently steered them away, but not before they flipped a bird over their shoulder at the offending human. Jax laughed. "Sawyer, you are my absolute favorite. Never change." He slung an arm around their shoulder and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to their temple, grinning the whole while.

"Not every fight needs to be a fist fight. Sometimes you can just move on." Adrian told them quietly, looking tired.

But Sawyer was shaking their head. "No, I can't. I, as a white person, super _cannot_ stop fighting every time I hear people say shit." They took his hand and squeezed it, urging him to hear them out, to understand. "I have a lot of privilege to use those spaces and be heard there because of the way I look. I have an obligation to do so." Then Sawyer's lips twisted ruefully. "I'm sorry I tried to fight tonight, though." Jax kissed their head again, mumbling something about how his parents would have _loved_ them, and Sawyer wondered how much sake he had had to drink. Clearly enough to mess up his steel vampire metabolism.

Adrian didn't seem thrilled, but he inclined his head. "..and I thank you for it, Sawyer."

"I don't want you to thank me for it," they told him kindly. "I need you to let me be better than where I came from."

The trio walked along the bank toward Sawyer's apartment, pressed close together, breaths coming in puffs of mist in the cool air. It took a few minutes to process what Sawyer had said, but as their companionable silence stretched, Adrian Raines had lime to sort out his thoughts about it. He slowed down, pulling his lovers to a stop, and raised his eyebrows at the youngest of the three. "'Where you came from'?" he echoed, and Sawyer winced, looking pointedly forward. "Sawyer, you never talk about your parents, or your hometown. I think all I know about it is that your parents text you every day to make sure you're still alive."

Jax had sobered up a bit, frowning as he considered their time together. "...Hell, I didn't even know that. I know that you were a country kid who did perilous snow tricks to pass the time. Oh, and that you had a pony."

"Snow tubing is hardly perilous," Sawyer muttered, looking amused. After a beat their shoulders sagged and they looked between the two men. "What d'you want to know?"

"Where did you grow up?" Jax asked, letting go of their arm and opting to take their hand instead, swinging it lazily between them.

"About thirty minutes north of Eagle River, Wisconsin. Small town, no people of color. No other queer people that I know of either. I grew up just off a lake resort my folx owned, but money was always tight. I had--wait, no, _have_ , they're still alive--three sisters. Sorry, I don't know why I said that in past tense." A gust of wind threw their braid into their face and they shrugged it away, chuckling to themself.

"What were your parents like?" Adrian inquired. They spotted Sawyer's apartment complex ahead of them and burrowed into his coat to find the key for their apartment. "I remember you said that you were the adventurous one in your family?"

Sawyer nodded. "I am. And my parents are hardworking people, did a lot to make sure we were fed and clothed. But they are pretty racist--most people there are, honestly--and transphobic, too. I think they text me to make themselves feel better, but we don't really talk. I don't go home to visit them because I'm not allowed to. They kicked me out of the house when I was eighteen when I came out to them, I payed for college on my own, I--" At some point Adrian had given up searching for his key and had pulled them into a tight hug instead, cutting them off. Sawyer didn't know what they would have said, anyway. Jax took it upon himself to get his key out and led the way up the stairs to their complex, expression unreadable. "Needless to say they aren't good people who are worth talking about. They aren't like either of your families, who loved you until they were gone. I'm not gone and they decided that loving me wasn't a good gamble. They would hate both of you, and so would my sisters, so what's the point in talking about it? I'm better off without them." But they tugged Adrian back nonetheless, feeling a burst of fondness in their chest.

Matsuo opened the door for them before locking it behind, kicking off his shoes. "If you don't let go of them, you'll both be sweating in about five minutes."

Adrian grinned before releasing Sawyer, and the three of them shirked their winter jackets and boots before shuffling into the living room. Sawyer darted into the kitchen to grab three glasses for whiskey (laced with blood, of course) while their boys plopped on the couch and snuggled up, Jax's faced pressed into Adrian's shoulder, legs entangled. Their relationship had come a long way in the last month since Jax had decided to come clean to Adrian about how he felt and what he wanted, and Sawyer was glad that they were finally sorting themselves out. Jax solidified this thought by surging up to kiss the CEO, who made a soft, needy sound before responding heartily, hand clasping around the back of the Clanless' neck. Smiling, Sawyer walked over to join them, placing their glasses on the coffee table before taking a long sip of theirs. They had convinced Adrian to take a day off tomorrow, so they could stay up and out for as long as they so wished. Once the men started to get more heated, Sawyer laughed, throwing their head back. "Oh, what? I spill my deepest, darkest truths and then you to get to make out? Is that how it's going to be?" Eyes dancing with mirth, they put down their cup and climbed into their laps, going for the divide and conquer technique. Once they had wiggled their way between them, all three were laughing because the situation was so ridiculous. Sitting triumphantly (and awkwardly) between Raines and Matsuo, Sawyer nestled back into couch, figuring they could enjoy themselves for the meantime. Plus they had an _amazing_ view of Jax's flushed features and Adrian's _oh so_ bruised lips. It gave them all _sorts_ of ideas.

Leaning in kiss the nape of their neck, Jax whispered, "Sorry, love," though he didn't sound very sorry at all.

Sawyer rolled their eyes and handed him his whiskey. "Oh, I'm sure you're not. I've kissed Adrian before, so I _know_ you're not." They felt Jax's body tremble with laughter, and that just set them both off again. Adrian shook his head at them both.

"You're both horribly perverted," he murmured before taking his drink. Adrian was far more old-fashioned than the two of them and, unsurprisingly, was easily scandalized. "For goodness sake." They both leaned in to kiss him and he recoiled, pretending to look outraged. "Do restrain yourselves."

"Make us," Sawyer demanded, smirking, finishing off their drink before setting the glass aside. Adrian silenced them with a kiss, then leaned over to do the same to Jax. It wasn't particularly forceful, but his lovers were too pleased about it to complain.

Once they were comfortably buzzed and had melted into a pile of bodies on the sofa, Jax glanced up at Sawyer, smiling widely when they met his gaze with half-lidded eyes. It was a marvel how open and loving they were, considering how often they had been hurt by others. Though he supposed the same could be said for himself or Adrian Raines. "Thank you for telling us about your family, Sawyer. I'm glad you felt you could trust us with it." Adrian made a sound of agreement from where he had ended up draped across both of their legs, one of each of their hands clasped in his.

With a hum, Sawyer peered down at them, expression warm. "Well, you know how we gays are with the concept of a 'found family'. I lost one family, so I made another. I'm glad you two are a part of it." They closed their eyes, smiling to themself. When they opened again, Sawyer noticed that both of their boys looked _very_ emotional. They scoffed. "You two are babies," Sawyer muttered affectionately. Jax snuggled into their chest and Adrian turned his head so he could nuzzle into Jax's belly, and for once Sawyer felt like everything was going to fine. Everything was right with the world, and even though the world was unkind, it didn't mean they had to be.

All was soft and warm and quiet.


	6. Secret siren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and how to deal with them.

They all had nightmares.

Sometimes they were of the last two years, of blood and gore and betrayal and murderous deities and bloodthirsty leaders and humans who did not think they were human enough. Liv's face when she had her throat torn out by Rheya, watching Sawyer's gaze flicker down to the blood pooling from their midriff as Gaius laughed at their attempts to kill him, the burns on Lula's body, Vega turning into ash as Adrian developed godlike powers (and apathy) from the serum. Terrible things. Too many casualties for any one person to have seen, to have experienced. Adrian remembered his wife and son, Jax remembered thinking his mentor was dead, Sawyer remembered dying. None of them had restful nights.

Sometimes they were a different sort of trouble. Not the kind that anyone would call scary, at first glance.

Adrian had nightmares of pleasant tea parties and warm summer days, that suffocate and trap him. Of being forced into this made up box of “goodness” while something squeezes the air out of his lungs. Of love and acceptance from the people he secretly admires…at the irreversible price of _himself_. Those are the nightmares that had him waking up, shuddering, guilt clawing at his chest.

Jax had nightmares of needing to live up the expectations of people he did not know. Of people being disappointed in him, of not doing enough, of not being good enough. Of being stranded at sea while he kicked and struggled to stay above water, only for his arms and legs to be so heavy that he sinks. He is never prepared for the kind of nightmares that are made of fears, not memories.

Sawyer had nightmares of losing their friends and partners, of being driven mad with the loss, of turning into Rheya. Of always being just one bad day away from becoming a tyrant. Sometimes they had dreams where they could not speak, or they could not hear, and they could not see, and they were alone. They were often crying before they had fully woken up, and they rarely told their boyfriends about it.

The better nights were when only one of them would be taken into the realm of bad dreams. The worst were when all three of them were struck.

Unfortunately, tonight way one of the latter.

Bolting upright, Sawyer rubbed at their eyes, tears clinging from their eyelashes from a memory-- _no, not a memory, a bad dream, you didn't go bad, you didn't kill Adrian, or Jax, or Lily, or Kamilah, you didn't hurt anyone you loved, you killed Rheya, you saved everyone, you won, you won, you won_ \--before something kicked their calf. They glanced over at Adrian, who was twitching and spasming in his sleep, expression stricken, thick brows furrowed. On his other side Jax was mumbling to himself, tremors passing through him, and if Sawyer didn't know better, they would have thought that he was about to get up and bolt.

They sniffed, banishing the thoughts of Rheya and their own powers from their mind, before reaching out to place a hand over Adrian's cool wrist. Sometimes touching him when he was having a nightmare was a good way to get chucked across the room, but they had a feeling that tonight it would be grounding, not startling.

It was an incorrect feeling. Adrian tensed and then pulled his arm to his chest, dragging Sawyer across the bed with a yelp. Only once they were sprawled across his chest in a heap did he wake up, eyes red and blazing. He stared at Sawyer for a long, heated moment before recognizing them, and he wilted. "What are you doing?" he whispered, careful not to wake their sleeping boyfriend.

"This wasn't my plan, you pulled me across the bed," they replied, glaring at him. Adrian shot them an apologetic look. He released their arm slowly and Sawyer picked themself back up, sitting back on their legs. Their tumultuous bedhead made him smile, but it didn't quite meet his eyes. Sawyer sighed. "C'mon, let's talk about it." They crawled out of the bed and reached for his hand.

Adrian seemed uncertain. "It's not--I'm not...."

"Doesn't matter. It's better if we talk about it." Their hand was already locked onto him, guiding him out of the bed. Adrian followed along doubtfully, looking _exhausted_ , but Sawyer noticed that he held their hand tightly.

It seemed neither of them were good at telling other people when they weren't okay.

They led him to the couch and sat him down, leaving only to grab a few extra blankets before settling down next to him. Sawyer created a makeshift nest and burrowed into his side, winding their limbs around him. They waited until Adrian had relaxed, nestling drowsily into them, until speaking. "Which dream was it tonight?" They watched his expression close off, unwilling, followed by the resignation. He leaned into them and rested his cheek on the top of their head.

"The one where I stayed Gaius' dog." He had always admired him, even when Gaius had inevitably gone too far, even when he feared him. The man had given him life after death, had given him purpose, had led him to meet his best friend and sister. It was a strained, toxic relationship, and Adrian was still trying to unpack all of it, but it was the truth. He had a lot to work through still. "I was loved, but by all the wrong people." Sawyer was dead. Jax was dead. Kamilah was not herself, she had never been herself when she was the lover of Gaius, not once.

Sawyer nodded. It was the second time in two weeks Adrian had had that one. At least, the second time he had _told_ them about it. They squeezed him, and he squeezed them back, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "That sucks." They weren't going to make light of it, or dismiss it. The fact that Gaius still had such a strong hold on him was the _worst,_ and they wished things were different, and they wished that they had all of the right words to make things better. "I don't think that ever would have been an option for you, though. You would do the right thing, no matter what."

Adrian closed his eyes as if that could stop him from hearing Sawyer. "You don't realize how close I was to doing just that, though, Sawyer. I wanted to believe him, to follow him. It was almost enough for me. Even when he wanted to harvest and enslave the human race, and I knew it was wrong, but being by his side was almost enough. I think about it all the time. How close I was to choosing differently."

But they were shaking their head aggressively, beginning to pull away. Irrationally Adrian wondered if they were leaving, if this was the final straw, but no, their hands were on his face, holding him still so they were looking eye to eye. "Adrian Raines. How somebody good live for over two-hundred years and fundamentally know so little about themself is beyond me. _You_ ," they leaned down, so close that their nose squished against his, "are a good person. You are kind and brave and you want to make the world better. And you have changed the world _to_ be better. You have more than repayed for what Gaius made you before. It's enough. Everything you're doing? It's _enough_ , Adrian. You're enough, you're doing _enough_." When his eyes looked suspiciously bright, they pressed a kiss to his forehead, then to his lips. His dark skin flushed with color, which was always interesting to watch--they still didn't know how vampires had blood to _flush_ , anyway.

" _Thank you_ ," he whispered when they pulled apart. He still looked tired, but his features were softer now, gentler. "I don't know how you always know what to say."

"I do my best," Sawyer said, smiling. "And I pay attention. You're surprisingly easy to read, yo-"

There was a strangled sound from their bedroom and they both jumped. Adrian's eyes widened. " _Jax_." Without another word they had both scrambled to their feet and ran to the bedroom, throwing the door open. Jax was sitting up, head in his hands, shaking like a leaf, fists grasping at his hair. Sawyer jumped onto the bed and crawled over to him, trying to get him to let go of his hair while Adrian approached from the other side, nudging his way between the headboard and the vampire. As Adrian wrapped his arms around Jax's middle, Sawyer peered into his brown eyes, trying to get him to focus on them.

"Jax, honey, what happened? Did you have a nightmare?" they asked, straddling his lap so their boyfriends would have room for their legs. They cupped his face in their hands, concerned.

He was silent, disassociating spectacularly, before looking at them. His eyes were red-rimmed. "Are you real? Or is this another dream?" He grabbed a fistful of his shirt, seeming surprised to see it. "--oh. I guess it is real, huh?"

Sawyer pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek before embracing him from their side; they could feel Adrian's arms tighten, taut beneath their skin. "Unless we're all having a massive fever dream right now, which wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's happened to us. D'you want to talk about your dream? It seems to be the trend tonight." Adrian shot a look over Jax's shoulder, not having realized they had had a nightmare, too. By his expression, Sawyer would be forced to come clean about it later. They pretended not to notice.

Jax leaned into Adrian, head resting back on his shoulder. "Oh, you know, the one where I drown, which is a really stupid thing to dream about. It's dumb. We've faced Ferals, cults, hunters, the _First Vampire_? This is nothing." Frustrated by this moment of weakness, he looked pointedly at the wall, scowling. The scowling fell away when he felt kisses from both vampires against his shoulders, neck, collarbone. He was too tired to instigate anything, but it did wonders for the tension he was holding in his body.

"Drowning is scary," Sawyer affirmed, nodding with certainty. "You're allowed to have more than one fear at a time."

"Drowing _is_ scary. I nearly drowned as a boy once. My brother pulled me out." Adrian commented.

"See? It's literally the worst. An absolutely valid fear." Sawyer smoothed a hand over his hair, grinning when he leaned into the touch. Jax was still practically touch-starved. "It's okay. We'd never let you drown."

Jax heaved a sigh. "It's...not that, though. It's the being weighed down and being alone more than the dying." He paused. "..well, it's the dying, too. But that's not the point of the dream, I think."

They were all quiet for a heartbeat, taking solace in each other, waiting for their heartbeats to slow, then sync. Adrian placed the softest of kisses to the back of his neck; Jax's eyes watered at how indescribably _tender_ the action was. "You're not alone. Not in that, not in anything else. Not ever." He was telling it to himself almost as much as he was telling it to Jax. They were all too independent for their own good sometimes.

"..I woke up alone just now, though. That was...worse." His words made Sawyer shiver, and Jax embraced them loosely, trying to console them. He could feel the guilt come off them in waves.

"I'm sorry. I had a nightmare, too, and we didn't want to wake you." Adrian's words were a breath against his shoulder.

"Next time, wake me."

They stayed there for awhile longer, just breathing, accepting this comfort as it was. Soon they had melted back into the bed, ready to get back to sleep until the moon rose again.

Recovery wasn't linear, and sometimes never complete, but at least they weren't doing it alone.

(And thank the gods that Sawyer is emotionally competent enough to make them talk about their feelings and dreams so they don't fester.)


End file.
